A Cautionary Tale

THE BOOK OF GOMER

An Ancient Parable from The Book of Gomer

PART THE FIRST

Behold, these are the generations of Gomer, son of Homer, son of Omer. 2. And in the days of Gomer, Noah, the Prophet, went unto the people saying, “Prepare ye for the flood which is to come, yea, build yourselves a boat, that ye may not perish.”

  1. Now, Gomer was a member of the Church, and yea, even he taught Sunday School and played, yea, even on the ward softball team.
  2. And Gomer’s wife saith unto him, “Come, let us build unto ourselves a boat as the Prophet commandeth, that we may not perish in the flood.”
  3. But behold, Gomer saith unto his wife, “Worry not, dear wife, for if the flood comes the government will provide boats for us.”
  4. And it came to pass that Gomer did not build a boat for his family.
  5. And Gomer’s wife did go and speak with Noah, and she returned saying, “Behold, Honey, the Prophet saith unto us, ‘Build a boat, that we may preserve ourselves, for the government payeth men not to grow trees, wherefore the government hath not the lumber to build thee a boat.’”
  6. And Gomer answered saying, “Fear not, oh wife, for am I not the star pitcher on the ward softball team? Wherefore, the Church will provide for us a boat, that we perish not.”
  7. And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah, and she returned unto Gomer, saying, “Behold, mine husband, the Prophet saith that he hath been commanded to build one boat – an ark – and that the Church hath not lumber sufficient to build a boat for everyone’ wherefore, mine husband, let us build a boat, that we might not perish in the flood.”
  8. And Gomer answereth her saying, “Behold, and if we should build a boat, when the flood cometh, will not our neighbors overpower us and take from us our boat; wherefore, what doth it profit a man to build a boat?”
  9. And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah and she returned, saying, “Behold, the Prophet saith, build unto yourselves a boat, and have faith, for if ye do the Lord’s bidding, He will make thy boat safe for thee.
  10. But Gomer answered his wife, saying, “Behold, thou knowest that there is great inflation in the land, and behold, the price of wood hath gone sky high; therefore, if we wait awhile, perhaps the price will go down again. And then I will build for us a boat.”
  11. And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah, and she returneth saying, “Thus saith the Prophet, thou shalt haste to build for yourselves a boat, for behold, the price of wood shall NOT go down, but shall continue to rise. Wherefore, oh my husband, I admonish thee to build for ourselves a boat, that we may not perish.”
  12. But Gomer answereth his wife, saying thus, “Behold, for 120 years Noah hath told us to build a boat, to preserve us from the flood, but hath the flood come? Yea, I say, nay, thou knowest it hath not. Wherefore, perhaps the flood will not come for another 120 years… and perhaps it shall not come at all.”
  13. And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah and returned saying, “The Prophet saith, he knows it has been 120 years, but this mattereth not, because yea, the flood SHALL come; wherefore, ye shall build yourselves a boat!”
  14. And Gomer answered her saying, “Wherewith shall we get shekels sufficient to build ourselves a boat? Thou knowest that we are indebted beyond our means for our fine-twined linens, our spacious home, our new chariot. Nevertheless and notwithstanding, I assure thee that when our payments end, perhaps we shall build ourselves a boat.”
  15. And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah and returned saying, “Behold, the Prophet saith that we should behave wisely and cut down on our expenditures for recreation and luxuries, and on our conspicuous consumption, and even that we shouldest give each other lumber for Christmas, that we might thereby have lumber sufficient to build a boat.”
  16. But Gomer saith unto her, “What? And shall we languish in sadness without that which entertaineth in our lives? Shall the command to build a boat remove all our joy and merriment??”
  17. Wherefore, Gomer, having justified himself. But yea, he continued his lifestyle of debt and conspicuous consumption, and he paid no heed to the words of Noah.
  18. And Gomer’s wife was filled with anguish and fear, lest the lack of a boat should bring them to suffering and woe. Yet she spake not again to her husband Gomer of her desire that he build a boat.

PART THE SECOND

  1. Now behold, it came to pass, that on a particular day towards evening, that Gomer was once again at play with the ward softball team, and he playeth with all his might, muscle, and strength.
  2. But lo, he seeth something in the sky which giveth him pause and maketh him to wonder. He seeth great flashes of light, and yea, even he heareth the increasing sounds of thunder in the heavens.
  3. And it came to pass that Gomer remembereth the pleadings of his wife as she repeateth the words and counsel of the Prophet Noah.
  4. And lo, Gomer began to fear exceedingly, insomuch that his body began to shaketh.
  5. And he ran, even with all his strength, to buy lumber so that he might have wherewith to build a boat.
  6. But behold, the lumber merchant hath not, and he telleth the crowd which hath gathered that he hath barely enough for his own boat. And there was no lumber to be found in all the land round about.
  7. And later on that same day, as the heavens were opened and the rains fell in abundance, it was as if all the fountains of the deep were opened wide, and the windows of heaven broken, and the flood waters did rise with exceeding speed, insomuch that Gomer began to feel great fear.
  8. And behold, Gomer beheld that he had no boat for his family. And they clingeth to him with their pleading that he save them from the many waters which surroundeth them and growth stronger and deeper.
  9. And it came to pass that as the waters rose higher, his wife saith unto him with sadness, “Behold, my husband, in whom I trusted, thou hast been exceedingly slothful. Thou hast not followed the commands of Noah, the Prophet who gaveth thee wise instruction. And lo, we perish!”
  10. And this is the end of the account of Gomer … and his family ….

A LESSON FROM THIS FICTICIOUS CAUTIONARY TALE:

 

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